【英文读物】Roy Blakeley's Funny-bone Hike

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1、【英文读物】Roy Blakeleys Funny-bone HikeCHAPTER I WE GOThis is going to be the craziest story I ever wrote. But anyway every word of it is true一except afew small words. Even the punctuation is true. But I have to admit the story is crazy. It s thecraziest story ever written in this world or any other wor

2、ld. I don t care how many worlds thereare. The name I call it by is the Funny-bone Hike, but I should worry what you call it.When you study first aid you have to know all about the different bones but the only bone I knowanything about is my funny-bone. Anyway I don t care so much about first aidI l

3、ike lemonadebetter.But one thing, I ve got the Safety First badge. To get that you have to think up a safety device inyour home. I thought of a safety pin. I ve got ten other merit badges, too. Next to laughing myspecialty is cooking.So now I II tell you about how all this crazy business started. It

4、 happened accidentally on purpose.Our troop was up at Temple Camp一that, s where we spend our summers. One morning six of uswent down to Catskill Landing in the bus to get some fish-hooks and jaw-breakers; I m crazyabout those, I don t mean fish-hooks.The six scouts that happened to be along were Ber

5、t Winton, (he belongs out west) and HerveyWilletts, (gee whiz, he belongs everywhere I guess) and Garry Everson (he lives down the Hudson)and Warde Hollister (he, s in my patrol and my patrol is the Silver Foxes and they, re all crazierthan each other, those fellows) and Pee-wee Harris (he s one of

6、the raving Ravens of our troop)and Roy Blakeley, that s me, I mean I, correct, be seated. I was named after my sister becauseshe was named before I was. I m patrol leader of the Silver Foxes, but I m not to blame, becausethey were wished onto me. I m more to be pitied than blamed.Now it s about ten

7、miles from Temple Camp to Catskill Landing. And it s about three hundredand forty-eleven miles back from Catskill Landing to Temple Camp. I bet you II say that isn tpossible and I know it isn t possible but it s true just the same.So this is the way it is. The first chapter of this story tells how w

8、e went to Catskill Landing and thenext twenty or thirty chapters tell how we got back to Temple Camp. You can stay in CatskillLanding if you want to and not bother with the rest, I should worry. But the book includes theround trip only it wasn t so round; it was kind of square like a circle and rect

9、angular andright-angular and left angular, and every which way. It was shaped like a lot of wire all tangled up.The way back was so crooked that we met ourselves a lot of times going the other way.So if you want to you can call this story The Tangled Trail. But I like the Funny-bone Hike better.Suit

10、 yourself.CHAPTER II WE START BACKThe scout that was to blame for the whole thing was Hervey Willetts. Believe me, that fellowought to be kept in a cage. He belongs to a patrol named the Reindeers but he ought to belong tothe tomcats because half the time nobody knows where he is.His scoutmaster say

11、s he wanders over the face of the earth but, believe me, he wanders acrossthe head of the earth and down the neck of the earth; the face isn t big enough for him. Thescouts at camp call him the wandering minstrel because he goes all over and he, s all the timedirection is just as good as another if

12、not better. Come on, follow your leader.So off we marched into the woods singing:Don t ask where you re headed for nobody knows,Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;Be careful, don t trip and go stubbing your toes,But follow your leader wherever he goes.As the train started all the passenge

13、rs looked out of the windows laughing at us and waving theirhands. Anyway we were more powerful than that train because a donkey could stop it and wecould move him off the track, so it could get started, and that proves how smart boy scouts areeven when they don t know where they re at.CHAPTER VII W

14、E REACH THE FICKLE GUIDE POSTT d like to know where we are, ” Warde said.“We re in the Catskill Mountains, I told him.“You might as well say we re in the universe,” Pee-wee said. What good does that do us?”“You mean to tell me it isn t good to be in the universe?” I asked him.It s one of the best pl

15、aces I know of,” Garry said.“Sure it is,” I told him. u Anybody who isn t satisfied with the universe“You re crazy! ” Pee-wee yelled.“ Follow your leader, I said. u Follow your leader wherever he goes. ”“ Follow your nose, ” Bert said.“ No wonder he goes up in the air so often if he follows that, Ga

16、rry said.“Do you think I m going to go marching around the country for the rest of my life?” the kidpiped up.Don t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows,” I said. You want to go somewhere, dont you? Well, I promise to lead you somewhere. That s just where you want to go. What more canyou ask?

17、I kept marching in and out among the trees, touching some and not touching others, the otherfellows after me. Pretty soon I hit into the road that crossed the track. We were about a quarterof a mile from the track then. I kept along that road, sometimes walking on the stone wall andsometimes going z

18、igzag in the road. I knew we were going west and I was pretty sure that TempleCamp was southwest, but I didn t know how far. I thought that pretty soon we would come to acrossroad and that there would be a sign there.Pretty soon we did come to one and there was a sign there, all right. I was glad of

19、 that becausethe road we were on had made so many turns I didn t know for certain which direction we weregoing in. Besides, the sky was all cloudy so I couldn t tell anything by the sun.uThere s a sign post! one of the fellows shouted.“Saved!” another fellow yelled.I didn t strain my eyes to see wha

20、t was on the signboard, but as soon as I saw it I began passingin and out among the trees along the road, grabbing each tree and going around it. All the whilewe were singing those crazy rhymes. So that way I came to the sign post and grabbed hold of itand around I went, only, good night, the post w

21、ent round with my hand.“There s a good turn,” I shouted.“ Now you didn t do a thing but make the plot thicker, ” Pee-wee yelled at me at the top of hisvoice. Now you ve got everything mixed up.T changed the whole map of the Catskills, I said. That s nothing; see how the map ofEurope is changed. I do

22、n t think much of a signboard that changes its mind. ”“ I don t think much of a scout that changes a signboard, ” Pee-wee shouted.We all stood there staring at the sign. On the top of that post were two boards crossways to eachother and on each board two directions were printed with arrows pointing.

23、 On one board wasprinted COXSACKIE 8 M., with an arrow pointing one way, and ATHENS 5 M., with an arrowpointing the opposite way. On the other board was printed CAIRO 9 M., with an arrow pointingone way, and CLAYVILLE 7 M，with an arrow pointing the other way, and underneath that boardwas a little bo

24、ard with TEMPLE CAMP printed on it. I guess scouts put that there.But a lot of good that sign did us because all we knew was that Temple Camp was in the samedirection as Clayville and we didn t know which direction Clayville was in.u Follow your leader and you don t know where you re at, ” Pee-wee s

25、aid, very disgusted like.“Wrong the first time,” I said. The poem says follow your nose. Would you rather believe theguide post than that beautiful poem? The poem never changes but the guide post moves around.We know where we re at, we re right here; deny it if you dare. We re smarter than the guide

26、post.“You re about as smart as a lunatic, the kid shouted. Tf you hadnt touched that wed knowwhich way to go. Now where is Temple Camp? ”“That seasy,” I told him; it s where it always was.v“You mean you re like you always were,?, he said; you re crazy.”“Let s move it around again/, Hervey said, and

27、we II say the first verse and let go the postjust as we finish. Then let s go the way it says. ”“Good idea,” Warde said; let s all agree that weJ II go whichever way the Temple Camparrow points.vu There are four directions,” Pee-wee said. We II stand just one chance in four of going theright way.“Th

28、ere are only two directions, I said; right and wrong. Deny it who can. So we stand afifty-fifty chance of going right. Anybody that knows anything about arithmetic can tell that.Come on, follow your leader wherever he goes. ”I grabbed hold of the sign post and started walking around with the rest of

29、 them after me singing,uFollow your leader wherever he goes.” Some merry-go-round! We sang the first verse and Istopped short when we got to the word goes.“Come on,” I said, “Temple Camp is right over that way. Follow your leader.n“Trust to luck,” Hervey said; if its wrong, so much the better. Let t

30、he guide post worry. Theyhad no right to put a pinwheel here for a guide post.“Just what I say, ” I told him.“How about others coming along?” Warde wanted to know. That fellow makes me tired, he sall the time using sense.“ Now what have you got to say?” Pee-wee yelled. “A scout is supposed to be hel

31、pful.v“Sure, he s supposed to help himself to all the cake he wants, like you, I said.Warde said, “As long as we ve had all the fun we want here, let s set the post right before wego.”“ We haven t had all the fun we want, Hervey said.“Sure we haven t,” I put in. “We haven t begun to have any yet.T c

32、are more about dinner than I do about fun, Pee-wee said.u Do you mean dinner isn? tfun?” Garry asked him.T m just as crazy as you are,” Bert said to me, “ but we might as well go crazy in the rightdirection if we can only find out what that is. ”uCarried by a large minority,” I said; “the board of d

33、irectors is appointed to find out thedirection, so we can go crazy in that direction/ Warde said, “The trouble is that other peoplethat pass here are not so crazy as we are and they d like to know which way is which. Somepeople are peculiar.”“ Some people are worse than peculiar; ” the Animal Cracke

34、r shouted.“The compliment is returned with thanks and not many of them, and we wish ourselves manyhappy returns of the way. If anybody knows the way this merry-go-round of a sign post issupposed to stand let him now speak or else forever after hold his peace.“ Piece of what? ” Pee-wee shouted.“ Piec

35、e of pie,” I said; that s what you usually hold, isn tit?”Warde just went up to the sign post kind of smiling and turned it around till he got it just wherehe wanted it.“What s the idea?” I asked him.He said, “Well, there are a couple of ideas. I said, T didn t know we could scare up as manyas that

36、among the whole lot of us. ”“ Maybe I m wrong, ” Warde said, “ but I think that the side of the post with dried mud on itshould face the road. That mud was spattered by wagons and autos. And I think the side that isnt sunbaked faced the woods where its damp and shady. And I think the board where the

37、 paint isfaded is the one that faced the sun. And so I think that Cairo is over there, and Athens over thereand Temple Camp over there. See?”“Hip, hip, and a couple of hurrahs!” Hervey Willetts said. That means we can cut throughthese woods and come out at the end of the old railroad branch. There s

38、 a big apple tree overthere, I fell out of it once. It s all woods over there and we stand a pretty good chance of gettinglost again.”“ What kind of apples are they? ” Pee-wee wanted to know.“Baked apples, I told him.So then I started off with the rest of them after me, singing Follow your leader wh

39、erever he goes.CHAPTER VIII WE DO A GOOD TURNuThere ought to be plenty of apples on that branch,” I said, as I went along.u What branch?” the kid wanted to know.“The old railroad branch/ I told him. “Don t you know that apples grow on a branch?”I guess none of us knew anything about that old branch

40、but Hervey Willetts. That fellow knowsabout the funniest things and places. He can take you to old shacks in the woods and all placeslike that. He knows all the farmers for miles around camp. He knows where you can get dandybuttermilk. And he knows where you can get killed by quicksand and a lot of

41、other peachy places.He says that, s the kind of sand he likes because it s quick. He believes in action, that fellow.I said, “As long as you know where we re going suppose you be leader for a little while.”T II be leader; Pee-wee shouted.“ Let Hervey be leader, they all said.So I fell behind and I w

42、as glad to get rid of the job of leading for a little while. But, oh boy, it wassome job following! That fellow swung up into trees and turned somersaults over stone walls andhopped on one leg over big rocks一good night, we didn t have any rest.“You wanted ginger,” he said.“Sure, but we didn t want c

43、ayenne pepper;, I told him. Have a heart.”Gee whiz, that fellow didn t miss anything, trees, rocks, fences, and all the while he kept singing:Follow your leader,Follow your leader;Follow your leader true.If he starts to roll,Or falls in a hole;Or shins up a tree or a telegraph pole.You have to do it

44、 too,you do;You have to do it too.I can t tell you about all the crazy things that fellow did. It looked awful funny to see the rest ofus following, especially Pee-wee with a scowl all over his face. I guessed Hervey knew where hewas going all right because no matter what he did he always came back

45、to a trail.Pretty soon we came to the old railroad branch. A long time ago that used to go to some mines.We followed the old tracks through the woods. Hervey walked on one of the rails and we all triedto keep on it, but it was hard balancing ourselves he went so fast.I guess maybe we went a half mil

46、e that way and then we saw ahead of us a funny kind of a car onthe track. It wasn t meant to carry people, it was meant to carry iron ore, I guess. It was about aslong as a very young trolley car. A long iron bar, a funny kind of a coupling I guess it was, stuck outfrom it. It was all open, like a g

47、reat big scuttle, kind of. There were piles of stones and earth andold holes all caved in nearby. Those were the old iron mines, Hervey said.“ Gee whiz, ” I told him, “ I ve been to Temple Camp every summer and I never saw this placebefore. Christopher Columbus hasn t got anything on you. ”uFollow y

48、our leader wherever he goes, he said, and over the end of the car he went and,kerflop, down inside, all the rest of us after him. There was straw inside.That fellow couldn t sit down long. In about ten seconds up he jumped and shouted, “Followyour leader.nI was so tired I could have just lain in tha

49、t little car till Christmas, but I got up and so did theothers, all except Pee-wee.“ Come on, follow your leader/ I said.“Not much,” he said; T m going to lie here and take a rest. I? ve had enough funny-bonehiking. If you think I m going to follow you all over the Catskill Mountains without any din

50、ner;you re mistaken. I know the way home from here, it s easy. Go ahead and march into theHudson River if you want to for all I care.“Which way do we go from here?” Hervey asked him.“We follow the tracks straight along,” the kid said. That will bring us to the turnpike and allwe have to do is to go

51、through Leeds. There, you think you re so smart. ”“ Righto, ” Hervey said; “just climb out of the other end of the car and keep going, right alongthe track.”uSmart kid,” I said.“Do you think I m going to be turning somersaults all the way home?” he wanted to know.“The next time I join a parade it wo

52、n t be with a lot of monkeys.v“Those somersaults were all good turns, Bert said.“This place is good enough for me, Pee-wee shot back at him.So we left him there sprawled out on the straw and followed Hervey in and out of old holes, kindof like caves, and all around and over piles of earth and everyt

53、hing till pretty soon he stopped andsaid, panting good and hard, “What do you say to a plot?T take them three times a day and before retiring, I said. What kind of a plot? A grass-plot? v“Lets have some fun with Pee-wee, he said. “Did you hear him say he knows the way homefrom here? He thinks all he

54、 has to do is to climb out the other end of the car and keep goingalong the track to the turnpike. ”Well, isn t that right?, Warde asked.Sure its right, Hervey said; “only it depends on where the other end of the car is. See? Thatcar, s on a turntable if anybody should ask you.”“ If it were a dinner

55、 table it would interest Pee-wee more, I said.I noticed there was a kind of platform under it with grass growing through the cracks, ” Wardesaid.“Come on, let s see if he? s asleep and we? II turn it around, Hervey said. The woods lookthe same no matter which way you go. Follow your leader.vHe start

56、ed tiptoeing over to the tracks holding his finger against his lips and we all did just thesame. I had to laugh, it seemed so funny. He kept singing, Follow your leader, in a whisper.That fellow ought to be in my patrol, he s so crazy.CHAPTER IX WE FOLLOW OUR LEADERThere was Pee-wee, sprawled on the

57、 straw inside the little car, sound asleep. The funny-bonehike had been too much for him, I guess. Hervey got a stick and pushed with it against the railright near the edge of the turntable. We had to all get sticks and push before we could budge it.It squeaked as it went around, the part underneath

58、 was so rusty. We brought it to one full turn sothat the car stood with the long coupling at the opposite side from where it had been before. Wethought we might as well let Pee-wee sleep a little longer so we went to a tree that Hervey knewabout and got some apples. Then we went back and sat in a li

59、ne on the edge of the car with ourfeet hanging inside and started eating apples. After a little while we began singing, Follow yourleader, and that woke Pee-wee up.He opened one eye, then he stretched his arm, then opened the other eye and sat up, staring.u Wheredgerget thabbles? he wanted to know,

60、rubbing his eyes.I said, “Here, catch this and eat it.” Then I said, “Scout Harris of the raving Raven patrol, aliasthe Animal Cracker; you have been elected by an unanimous majority to lead the funny-bone hike.What say you? Yes or yes? Do you know the way to Temple Camp?“A fool knows the way to Tem

61、ple Camp, he said, very disgusted like.“And you claim you re a fool?” Warde asked him.I claim you re a lot of lunatics, ” Pee-wee said, sitting there and yawning and trying to eat anapple at the same time.It s your turn to lead, Garry said. Our career of glory is over and we want to go home.T m tire

62、d of this crazy stuff and I don? t believe anybody here knows the way to camp, Bertsaid.“This branch crosses the turnpike, Pee-wee said. Don t you know the little wooden bridgewhere the tracks cross the road?”“Oh yes, the dear little wooden place, I said; “how well I remember it!“You turn left on th

63、e turnpike and go through Leeds,” the kid said.“Ah, but suppose the turnpike shouldn, t be there any more?” Garry said. Some strangethings have happened since we started in a north southerly direction from Catskill.n“Thats because you had crazy leaders,v Pee-wee shot back. If you re sensible and wan

64、t togo back to camp I II show you the way.“Oh we re sensible/ I said.“You re the worst of the lot,” he shouted.Hervey said, “My idea is, just like I said, to follow the track right along the same way we weregoing and that will bring us out at the turnpike.u If the turnpike hasn, t been turned around/, I said.“We II be careful not to touch i