a deeper look into cyber love

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1、A Deeper Look into Cyber LoveCould you imagine that people will find Mr. or Mrs. Right on the Internet back in the 1980s? Along with the rapid development and widespread use of Internet, a virtual digital space is being established, and the cyber love naturally appears and gradually becomes prevalen

2、t. A survey conducted by Time a year ago indicated that more than one third of couples in America actually fell in love with each other through Internet, which comes as a surprise to us. Whether you like it or not, cyber love has become so popular that it affects profoundly the way as well as connot

3、ation of love and marriage. Thus it is of necessity to delve a little deeper into it; more specifically, why have there been so many unsuccessful cases of cyber love and why are there still a large number of people indulging themselves in it?Cyber love, according to the definition from Wikipedia, is

4、 “an interpersonal relationship between people who have met online, and in many cases know each other only via the Internet.” As a form of love, it is based on genuine feelings and sincere empathy between two individuals. In that sense, Internet relationship shares quite a few common features with a

5、ny other forms in reality. For instance, cyber love is romantic and fervent. However, the love through Internet turns out to be unique when we get to the bottom of it. First of all, love in reality is defined generally as a marriage-oriented relationship, while Internet romance may be intended for j

6、oyful courtship rather than a practically unattainable marriage. In addition, the illusory network makes this issue more complicated by adding a mysterious color to it. These two features drive people to simply blame cyber love. Despite numerous successful cases, the stereotype about it remains nega

7、tive. Undeniably, this allegation is partly valid since more and more young adults are immersed in online love but end up getting hurt physically or psychologically. In the meantime, hundred and thousands of seemingly mature and sensible men and women give themselves up to cyber love, which leads to

8、 the marriage crisis and eventually the break-up of their previously happy families. On the basis of a recent study by Shanghai Divorce Consulting Network, cyber love as a pattern of extra-marital affairs maintains the highest growth rate of all causes leading to marriage failure in Shanghai, alread

9、y accounting for more than 20%. One of the major reasons why online love often does irreparable harm to its participants is that the Internet, serving as media of communication, is basically a virtual world. On the one hand, people presumably wear a mask and disguise their weaknesses in order to sho

10、w up their charisma. We are already familiar with the phenomenon: a dwarfish, ugly and poor guy pretends to be a tall, handsome and wealthy gentleman. On the other hand, people have no chance to get to know their partners objectively and extensively. Instead, they always idealize their lovers as if

11、they are good-looking and sensitive and even possess every merit that can be imagined. In conclusion, the network provides netizens with opportunities to cheat others as well as themselves. Besides, Online love does not call for much responsibility and endurance. In fact, it can be illustrated as a

12、game or a drama in which many people may play roles with cynical attitude and pursue pleasure of this game without caring much about others feelings. Therefore, this drama usually has an extremely romantic climax but also a quick and devastating end.Consequently, there is no doubt that their earnest

13、 expectations will generally end in thorough disappointment followed by the break-up when cyber lovers intend to turn virtual affection into reality by meeting each other offline. Worse still, criminals may easily take advantage of cyber love to commit illegitimate crimes, which causes immeasurable

14、loss to the victims. In spite of the fact that participants suffer a lot from cyber love, there are still an increasing number of people adopting a tolerant or even approving attitude towards online romance. As a matter of fact, according to a survey carried out by MSNBC in January 40 million Americ

15、ans use online dating services. What are the reasons for it? In the first place, cyber love is a novelty involving freshness, uncertainty and excitement and surely intrigues the youths. In the information age, people are innovative and capable of accepting new things and concepts. Therefore, online

16、dating has become almost the fashion of the day. In the next place, the Internet, which connects computer networks around the world, enlarges their social circles. On account of it, an array of persons with different appearance and distinct characters are easily available. In other words, people are

17、 offered countless options and opportunities. Not being limited within the scope of their public relations circle in real life, they are more likely to find their ideal one. Moreover, the mystique originating from network media proves to be an exhilarating element of communication. As an old saying

18、goes: distance makes hearts grow fonder. Thus Internet generates affections and aspirations. The last but not the least, as is mentioned above, netizens do not have to be responsible for others. There is no need to contemplate their expressions in order to satisfy their lovers. Neither is it necessa

19、ry to console those in anger or in despair. They can say whatever they want, laugh or cry as long as they feel like it. Without heavy burden of responsibility in the real world, cyber love is the optimizing approach to love and relaxation. Furthermore, the trend of cyber love is deeply rooted in hum

20、an nature far beyond the four reasons. Living in the highly competitive modern society and suffering various pressures, people nowadays feel more depressed and exhausted than ever before. Some young adults may have trouble with their study or work, while others cannot keep in with their friends. Cou

21、ples are bored with their married life day after day and tired of trivial and annoying matters. As a result, the sense of defeat comes crowding in their minds and brings along despair and pain. In that case, people naturally create fervent desire to overcome failure and attain the sense of accomplis

22、hment. With all the characteristics noticed above, Internet is the perfect place to go and hence cyber love is worth trying. In accordance with Sigmund Freuds theory, dreams are wish fulfillments. Internet, unreal and imaginary, is similar to dreams. People tend to dream at night when they feel cons

23、trained. Similarly, netizens are apt to seek comfort on the Internet especially through chatting with their lovers, which helps them vent their negative feelings and regain their self-esteem. Eventually, people find that they could not resist the temptation. Therefore, on the basis of above analysis

24、, it is revealed that debate on whether cyber love is good or bad is meaningless. For one thing, love on the Internet requires genuine affections, which is, in essence, the same with that in reality. For another, cyber love is also a fairly risky business whose probability of failure is extremely hi

25、gh. Thus, we can neither encourage others to do, nor simply prohibit it. What is supposed to do is to be particularly conscious and cautious. We have to take notice of them. In another aspect, great importance should be attached to moral and legal responsibility to help avoid hurting others accident

26、ally or even deliberately. Otherwise, we would eventually be unfavorably affected in such an unhealthy environment. Its also believed that real love should grow further in the real world, which means that it is always better to transfer the love from cyberspace into real space. Accordingly, only if cyber love survives the challenges of real life will it develop into a happy marriage ultimately. That is the destination that we should lead it towards.Junjie Lu13307100065