写作中如何避免句式单调的问题
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1、写作中如何避免句式单调的问题写作中如何避免句式单调的问题请看NMET 2003一位同学写作中的一个片段: Ive found a place for you. It is a flat on the third floor. It is 25 square metres. There is a bedroom and a bathroom in it. There is a sofa and a kitchen in the bedroom. There is a chair and a desk in the bedroom, too. 很明显,该片段所用句子过于单调,全是简单句,而且3次重
2、复使用there be句型,像这样写出的文章在高考中即使没有语法错误也不会得到高分,最多只能得中档(15分左右),因为评分标准对语言能力的要求提高了-不仅要求语言无误而且还在连贯性、多样性和复杂性方面提出了具体要求。 为避免上述句式单调、松散的问题,我们可采取以下方法把简单句进行优化。 一、 扩展法 所谓扩展法就是在原有单句的基础上(结合主题)适当增加描写成分或附加细节,使之表达具体、生动和充实。如: 1. 我的特长是英语和电脑。 a. I like English and computer best. b. I like English and computer best and I am
3、good at them. a句表达简单,但b句则增加了I am good at them,更加突出了我的特长与求职方面的优势。 2. 过去听收音机,而现在看电视。 a. We listened to the radio, but now we watch TV. b. We listened to the radio for news and other information, but now we get news by watching TV. a句直来直去,表达一般,而b句增加了细节,使表达充实,说明通过看电视获取信息,by watching TV的运用,提高了语言档次。 有时,在扩
4、展句子时可能对句子的结构适当进行变通。如: 3. 过去周末在家做作业。 a. I did homework at home at weekends. b. I used to work even at weekends doing homework at home. a句是一般同学的表达,而 b句则先用work一词,然后使用doing homework. 这一分词结构,既使表达复杂,又突出了减负前的作业量大,表现了作者的厌恶心情。 4. 我现在可以发展我的业余爱好了。 a. I can follow my interests. b. I can follow my interests such
5、 as reading books, visiting museums, and taking computer lessons. a句只是泛泛地说发展爱好,而b句则根据实际把业余爱好明确写出来,让人读后觉得很实在,很具体,言之有物。 二、 合并法 合并法是指将意义相关或结构相似的句子按一定的方式合并连接在一起,以增强句子的连贯性和表现力。如: 1. a. He stopped us half an hour ago. He made us catch the next offender. b. He stopped us half an hour ago, and made us catch
6、 the next offender. 将句子合并后,使用了并列谓语,句子个数减少了,但动作的连贯性却加强了。 2. a. He is a good teacher. We all love and respect him. b. He is such a good teacher that we all love and respect him. / The teacher is so good that we all love and respect him. a句使用单句表达松散,而b句则使用了such.that. / so.that.这一常见句型,表达有力。 3. a. Enter t
7、he park by the main gate. Walk straight. Come to a stream. Cross the stream. Turn right. b. After you enter the park by the main gate, walk straight until you come to a stream, then cross the stream and turn right. 写作中应避免使用相同的句式或结构。而a句则多次重复使用祈使句,表达单调、呆板,更谈不上连贯性了。b句合并后,动作的连贯性加强了,且符合交际场景,减弱了祈使语气,让人易于接
8、受。 三、 改写法 改写法就是使用比较新颖复杂或强调的表达方式来改写变换简单句,使表达手段丰富,游刃有余。如把陈述句变为强调句、把复合句简化为分词结构或独立主格结构、用同义词语来替换等。如: 1. 我七岁上学,84年至90年在光明小学上小学;90至96年在大连第六中学上学。 a. I started school at the age of 7; I studied in Guangming Primary School from 1984 to 1990. I studied in Dalian No. 6 Middle School from 1990 to 1996. b. I star
9、ted school when I was 7. I studied in Guangming Primary School from 1984 to 1990. After that, I went to study in Dalian No.6 Middle School and graduated in 1996. a句中都为简单句, 且句式相同, 用了两次I studied.,时间状语相同,用了两次from. to.这些在写作中应该注意避免;而b句则是简单句、并列句和复合句并用,同时还使用了after that,这个短语更增加了文章的凝聚力,提高了文章的表现力。 2. 过去我们家住房拥
10、挤,而现在我们住在新的宽敞的房子里。 a. We lived in the crowded house, but now we live in the new big house. b. We lived in the house crowded with furniture, but now we have moved into a new three-room apartment. a句使用了并列句,但是重复使用live, house等词,句式结构也相仿;b句用have moved into代替了live,用apartment取代了house,使表达多样,而且句式结构也作了相应的调整,如把
11、the crowded house转换为the house crowded with furniture,使用了分词结构作定语,表达手段新颖,体现了作者扎实的基本功。 下面我们把开头提到的那个片段改写一下: Ive found a flat for you. Its a flat of 25 square metres with a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen. In the bedroom, there is a sofa, a bed, a chair and a desk. 如果这样来表达一定会为我们的文章增色不少,当然也会为你提高分数的。 在写作
12、中,上述手段可能会同时使用。为熟悉上述手段,请同学们改写或扩展下列比较单调的句子: 1. 我哥哥骑自行车。我坐在后面。 My brother was riding. I sat on the seat behind. 2. 在学校里,我学习很多门课程。我主要学习语文、数学、英语、物理和计算机。 At school I studied many subjects. I stu- died Chinese, maths, English, physics and computer. 参考表达: 1. a. My brother was riding, and I sat on the seat behind. b. My brother was riding with me sitting on the seat behind. 2. a. At school I studied many subjects such as Chinese, maths, English, physics and computer. b. The main subjects I studied at school included Chinese, maths, English, physics and computer.
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