雪莉·桑德伯格-哈佛大学毕业典礼演讲

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1、雪莉桑德伯格哈佛大学毕业典礼演讲 Congrtlion eryone, oma it.An I dot meatenof colege， I meanto assday, baue if memoy serves,some o or cassmats ha too many sorion ws at th Klas nihtand are ih s toay. Givnte weathr， e on hgHarvard hasnt fgured otw cotl,om o your oterclasmaes ae at somelae war wth a o cocoa， o you hv a

2、nyeasons to eelroud of yourelf syou s here ody.onralions to yur aret.You v spen a t of mey, soyou chil cn sy sh wnt a“mall cho” nerBosoAnd an youo he lss of fr ivitngme t te part o yorcelaion. t masagret t me Adooking atthe list of sperwaa ltle dauning.Icat e as fuy as Amy Poele, but Imgonna e fun h

3、n Mthr eresa.25 yas a， a ma aedDI ddnot know a theime butw would oneda ecome hband was itngwhereyu are sittgtoda.23 ears go， I wa sitting where yo rsittingtoay. Dave nd I rek hske withour amain so nddughterto clebte s renion, n e ot sathesame sntiment, arvrd as a gobasketall eamSndinhere inhe yr bri

4、n mories lodnbak or m.I arvehre frm am th fa of 1987, wi bghopesand ev biger. Ias ssined tie i one oHvard historic onumnto gre aitecture, cnad. My go-o outfit,anIm nt making his up, was ean skrt, whieeg armes and sneakers and lorda swte， becau my prents h wee herwithmen a theyr here wh no， tld me ev

5、eryone wouldthnk i wsweso tat I was froFlrd.tlast wedin have Istagramorme, arvrdwas seies of fisMfirstinner coat,e needt nedthose i Maiyfit 1page aper，hy didnt asign hos in myig shool.My fis C， fte hich m rctorldme that sh w n the amisis comitte,and I gotadmtte o rvard for y persoaiy o my acaemicpot

6、ntial.The frst person evr mt frmbrding school. Iught that s ur really roule kds.Tfirstperso I eveet wo hrsthenamewth whole builn, orso I me whenthe first classmate I met sSarh Widdleswot, whobore norelain at atothe drm, whc od have been nice to ko with tat vr itimidati moe.But thenwe to eet ther， Fr

7、ncisStrau,Jme wells, Jessica siene center B. My irlove, my first heartbreak, te frt timeI ealizta I lov o learn, an tefirt and vey tim sa ayne readanyhig n LaiWen sati yuseatall thoe years g, I ne exactlywhere I was eded, Iha t ll pnned out, I was going to tewor bktowork onlol pverty.TeI ouldgo t la

8、w school nI wold spend myewokingna nonprit oinagovnen. At rvardscomenementtoorws your dea escrbd, eachschool is onnasta up ndgradua tgthe, theceg,he l hool, th md shol ando on Atmy graduaio,y clss cheed the H stdnt ndthen bood he usies school. Business schol semedike h asellut18 monslater, I applied

9、 to busineschol.Itas wrongabut what I wuld do decas afer graduatng.ha itwong a ear and a hflar nd evn if I cold have pic I would one day worin theprvate ectr, I neve couldhve peiedFacok， becaue tere wano nent, nd Mark Zuckrbergwasat elemenayshool, alrad weargshoody. Not lcking io path to erl, giem a

10、n opportniyogointo a newand lie hnging fild.And rthoso yoh thk I eevthig to goo luck， after Canaday got QudedThreis straigt pa rom our seat today o wher you argog. ont try to draw tha line. Youwill t just ge t wrong. You ilmsig ppruntie and I ea bi ，liketheiternet.Caeersarnot aders. Those ays arelng

11、 oe, ut u gs Don jstove upand down. Dont ut lookup. Look akwrds, sidways， ond cornes. Yourcrer and your lie wil hve stats and s and zigs ad zag. on tressot aoutt wite space， he path you an try, becas therein ivesoh thesupris nd the ortuie.s yo opnyourelfupto pssibilty, th most mportthig I cn tlyu to

12、ai to open yorselfup to hones, otelinghethtoach ot, to hnet t yorselvs,and to hones abo the rld we live in.Ifyu wathed cldren, o ill imediately oti how hons they are.My rienbestya regnntandher on fo the seod hild, o Sa was , e ane to knw here the baby was in her boy. yes mmy, are te babesr in you am

13、s?And he ai， n am， babys i tmmy， whole bab. om,are ebabs gs inyor les? ， am， whl bb inmy tumyen momy, whats growing in your b?As aduls, wae most evr dshost hacan be a very go t, When I wspregnnt wih our irst child, I asked my hsbad aei my utts gtig big. At frst, h ddn anwer but pesed. Sohe sad, ya,a

14、 litle.Fo year sterinlowsaid him wha eope wil wayat o for he rest or ifewhen ou d somehig doe,and that gu wen to Hrd.Haringthe rh a diffre ties alongewy would v heled e. I woud not av admite it easily whn Isahee you sit. But hIaduaed, I was mcore wrridabo m oelfetmyceer.I thouht I ol hd a few yers v

15、ryliitdime t fd ne of the od guys, boree as to , o beforethe wr all tken,or Iettold. o I movedtoDC, ad et t guy， andI go marrie at the nerl decrept a of 2. I r odr a wonderfl an,but Iano binessing that kind of cmmitmer I ditkowwho ws owh I wanted to e. M mriage flapar ithin year, something tht was r

16、eally embrrssing ad paiful atte time， adit idntheltat s may frends cameu tomendaid:”I neve knw tha,never thogh tht w gong toork or I knewyou weentright feah othe onhad maged to sayting lke tat t me beore archd on an aisle wn i wuld av been armor ueul.And as I lived trou tee painfumonths o spratio an

17、 dvoce， boy, dIwish the d? nd bo, id Iwi ha askedthm? At thsame ie in m rofssioa lif, soeone id ak . My first boss ou o coleg ws Lan Price， aneconomist whoteacheat t kedy Schoo whoie wit s tda, fer I defred to lawschol fr th econt.Lnt t own and ad I dot thn yo shouldgo to lw scho at all, don thnkyou

18、 wat to go t law shool. I hnk o shod becauseyu toldyr antouwold mn yas ag.He oted hat had nvr one heard etl about thelw withan ntrest.Ino how hrd it cnbe to behonest wiheachther, evn yo clot re, vewhen theyr aout omk seriousitkes, b Iet sittinere oday，ou knw your osestrienstrength,weeknses, what lf

19、they might ive f, and Iber the most part youever told em, ndth eversed. Asktm. Ask themfo hetuth bcus it willhe you.nd when the nswr hnesty， ouknotathawhatmakes temrea riedsAg forfeedbck is ealy impora abittogetint, asyu leaethe sctre of the sco lnr and exms an gadbehind. On many jobsi yuwat t kow h

20、ow youre oing,i youregin to hav sandthn youre nna have tolisn ihot gttig defiv Tke it from me,listnng t citism s verf, bt the only wa ean iproe. fewyrs ao, rZucergcded e wanted t leahiese, and in rdt prtce he srtdrig to have wok meetngs withsoof Facebook olleaueswho ntivespeakers Now you oul thinkhi

21、sver limitedlanuge skls would kepthese convrsionsfrom be useful. ne ay h asked a woan wh washee，owit going,hodi you choose the facboohe answd it a lnan rety complcatedentenceSo hesaid smple las. Shske agai. Siplr pleae. This wet bac nfoth coupleof time. S se burted ut in utraio,my manager s bad. Tha

22、t heudrstoo.So ftenth trth is acrificed toconflit oane，oby the tewespeak h truth,wee used so may caveat andpeables tht the mssag otally gts lt SoI ask you to ask ch oher for the rutand ohe eope：can ulit itn simpend carlanguag? Andwhen you speak you tuth, ca ou us impe and clealaguag?As hard itis to

23、b onst wit rthe peoe. It can be en orediffiult tobe hoest wih orselv.For years after Ihd chidren, Iwuldy prett on o feeguiltwoking evn wen no oaske.meoemih sy，erly， ws yorday today? And I wul say, geat Idtfeel guilty wig.r d I need aswer? Ye ,its upredictabl frein an Idont feel guilty won. sknd lika

24、 arr withissuesThnon dy o the tredmll, readi is arcle on Scioloy Journalaout how pople t tar ou lyng to otherpeope, th srt ot lying themseves, andthe thngs we repea os fruentyare ften toseies.So he weat waspourin on my ace.I started woderin htdoI repat pett frequty,and realie I luilty orking I then

25、didat o resach, an spentanetre yar wit my er friend eil Svll writingabook talking aout howIa hinkin and feli., ad Imso gratefulhat somn won arounte ord connctd tit Myook o ourse was le Fify Shades ofre. I can se o of youconnected to it s wl.e heevmoe k tod in bing hoesaboutthe wor weliein We dn alwa

26、ys ee th hrtruths, and ne wese hem, we dotalayhav te orag t seak out.Whe my lassmatesand I wre ncollee, w thugt that fghtfr genr eqally wa ne tht wsover. Sure, mt fth ledrsinvey industrwere ,ut we hoght canging tha as jst a mtte ftie Laon ibraryrig ovrthere， oe geeratn befresdn ltoenthrougits do. Bt

27、 by the imewe st you seat, veyhing was eqal,arvar ad Radclif as ullyinterae.We idnt ed feiism bcus we weralread equls. We were wrog. wswong. The ordwas oteqal hn nit s nt equl ow. Ithin owaays, we dont jus hde ourses from the hd tthand stour ees to he ineuti， ut we suffefomth tyanny of lo expectatio

28、s.Intelast lecon cycle inhe united sttes,wome wn 20% othesnate seats, and al t hadline artdscreamg ot:omentakeovr the Senat. Iltlke scamig ak, aita mitevrone.50%f the popultion gett20 of the sets. Ths nt a takove. Tht an emrasment.Jus afw montago ths year, a vrwllrspectedn well-knbusness xecties Sli

29、con ally invidme to ive spech to his ubon socialmdia Iveeeto his clb a fw montsbeorwhen I hav beenvtd o a frins bitday. It s abutifl buildngan was wandeing aound loing at it, lookg for tewomen room, when staf ember inorm m very fiml thath de om wasoverhee ad I shold b sur not tog stais bcaus woen ar

30、e never alloedinhis uiln. didtrealie I wa in anal-male cuutilthat miute.Ipet the ret o thnight wdering wht ws dig thee wondernwhat evryon else was oig here,woderingif aof my fends San Fracio woul ivit me， a paty ta clb that d low aks rJes orsian orgseng viedo give usines peca this cu， it e evn more

31、egregious because yo couldnt am that it a only socil business tha adonethereMy fist thougt wa, eally? ealy. A ear after Lean nhis dude tougt itwa a go iea toinvitem to give a speech tois literl lloys clu. Ad hwasn loe,tere is an nir omite of wereected sinessan who jonehimin issuin thi id invitation.

32、To prphre Groc rx,an dnt worry， Iwnt try to dothe cIdnt antto pak in n cuthatwont have s mmbe. So I said n,and I didin away I probbly wouln v even 5ears befoIrte a long and pasioae mal,arguing hattysoud cangeher polcie Te aked me fom prmpt response andwro tt perhas tigs il eentualy han Ourexpctation

33、 ar to low.Entuallyedsto ecome imediatly eedto seehe tuh nspek tetr. Wetlrate dcriintion ad e prten hat opportunity is a. Yes we eece n AfrinAmercn president, butracismispevasi st.Y， there are women h runForte 500companies, 5 percnt to b pecie, butourroad there is still pved wit wors epuy d bo, whil

34、e our ale eers re leders nd reslts focused.Afican-erican oen hv toprve tat theyre t angry. Latios risk bing brandd iery ot head.A roup nAmerica wenan en in Faebookwore ps oneda thatad I mar ayn be good enough.es，Harvrdhas a wan residnt,d n two years, te nited ates m have wom pesden.But inordr to eth

35、re, Hillry ltn ignna ae to ovecoe2 vr l obstals,unowand ftnununerood geer bis， and venwo, aderee fromYa.ou cnchallengesereotes hts stadobviou. AFacebo, wehae pstrsaround the wllo insie us, Done s betteran prfct, Fortne fav the . at wod yu do yo wee afraid? My nw avoienng Fcebk is sooneeseprblem. I o

36、peyou el tat wayabout he robemsyoue i t wold，becauethyae not someonelse proble Gener iequalty hrms ealog wih womenRacismhurt Whits alog wi Mnoritie ndthe lacf eaopptuniykeps all f s rom fiing our true poetial.S as you gautetday,Iwantto put some presure o yo,I want to utsome presre onou to ckoledg th

37、e hrd tuth， nt shy awy from hem, an wyou see h tadress them.he first time soke ut aboutwat it wasl to be a wma in the orkore sless than five yers ao That meansht fo 8 yes fro whe sit t where Ist, my silnce lid ha everyting waoay. Yo can dobeter than I dd An mean thatsoincel.At he mtim, I want to tae

38、 some psure f you,iting ere toay you dont ae t know whatreeryouwant r how toget the caree you migt want.Leang in dsotean yophwil be traght or soothand most peplewho mkege contbuo trt wa late tanMa Zckerbeg. Fin ajnglegym youwt ply an strt climbin, not oly ill you igreotwat you wanto do ventally， bu

39、oneu do,oull crush i.Lking a you al ere toda,Im illd withhop. All oyou whoer admited toa mal school nea osn, eiher or yoracdemic potntial o you sonality or both， yov hadour firs, wether is a wnter cat， ve a C， youve lrned ore aoutwhyu are and whyouwantto . d ostmprtantl, youveexpeiened the power of

40、cnty, you kn thatwhle ouareeraoinar on yu wn, warllsronger a can blode tother. I nhat yu wil never frgHarvard,dHrard ll eve fogetyou， espcially duinthe net undraisinive.Tomorro, you all become t of lielongmmunity, whih offe truly ratoportuity, d therfoeco witrel obligat. Youcanakth wordairfoeyon, ex

41、pct nes from youe nd eacte, demd nd crat truly euaoppotnity,nt eentuly,utno Adrr by he ay, yo g omethin Ma Zucerer doe not ha, aar egree. Colations, eveon！祝贺所有人,你们做到了。我指的不是大学毕业,而是成功出席今天的毕业典礼。如果我们记错，某些同窗虽然昨晚在香港餐厅喝了太多蝎子碗调酒，但今天还是来了。由于天气,这种哈佛还没有弄清晰如何控制的现象,尚有同窗正在温暖的地方喝热可可饮料，因此，你们有诸多为今天出席毕业日活动感到自豪的理由。祝贺你们

42、的家长,你们花了诸多钱，让子女可以说自己是从波士顿附近的这所“小学校“毕业的。还要感谢毕业生邀请我来到这次盛典。这对我价值巨大。看到过往演讲者的名单让人有些敬畏。我肯定没有艾米波乐那么搞笑，但我至少比特雷萨修女更风趣。5年前,一种我当时还不结识,但后来会成为我丈夫的男人戴夫，坐在你们目前坐的地方。23年前，我坐在你们目前坐的地方。戴夫和我这周末，带着可爱的子女回校。我们都怀有相似的感触:哈佛的篮球队太棒了！站在校园中,回忆泉涌。187年秋天,我从迈阿密来到这里，怀揣着伟大的梦想,尚有更夸张的发型。我被分派到哈佛伟大建筑的一座历史丰碑,卡纳迪楼,我是说真的，我当时穿着牛仔裙，白色暖腿袜套，运动鞋

43、,尚有一件弗罗里达羊毛衫。由于当时我的父母告诉我，所有人都会人为来自弗罗里达的人很酷。至少，我们那时没有Instagram。对我而言,哈佛给了我诸多第一次,涉及我的第一件冬装,在迈阿密没人需要冬装。我的第一份0页论文，高中没人会布置这样长的作业，我第一次得C,这之后，我的学监告诉我说，她在招生委员会,她招我进来不是由于我的学术潜能,而是由于我的品性。我在寄宿学校看到的第一种人，我就觉得这个人会是个大麻烦。我还遇到了第一种名字同整座建筑同样的人,这个人的名字叫做萨拉威格尔斯沃斯,她和那栋宿舍楼没有关系,当时我很震惊，懂得她和宿舍楼没有关系后，我松了一口气。之后,我还遇到了其她人,弗朗西斯斯特劳斯

44、，詹姆斯威尔斯，杰西卡科学中心B。我第一位爱人，第一位让我心碎的人,我第一次结识到自己热爱学习,第一次也是最后一次遇到有人在读拉丁文。我毕业那年,我想好了自己后来有什么筹划,我要进世界银行,对抗全球贫穷,然后我要去法学院,然后我将在非营利机构或政府工作，你们院长也讲了，在明天的哈佛毕业典礼上，每个学院都要起立并一同毕业，本科部吗、法学院、医学院等等。我毕业时,我们班为博士生欢呼，然后嘘了商学院，商学院似乎很不受欢迎。18个月后,我就申请了商学院。我对自己毕业后的数十年规划其实并没错，筹划只错在了一年后,就算我算到了自己会在私营公司工作,我肯定算不到自己会在脸谱，那时候没有互联网。那时候马克扎克

45、伯格还在读小学，已经开始穿她的标志性帽衫了。没有太早锁死自己的道路，让我有机会进入变化生活的全新领域。有人也许觉得我运气好,我想说,卡纳迪楼后,我又被安排到了方院。从你们所坐的地方倒你们要去的地方是没有直路的，不要尝试画这样的直线,这不仅会出错,还会错失大机遇，我说的是大机遇，例如像互联网这样。职业不是梯子,那种时代一去不返了,职业更像是立体方格铁架,不要只上下移动,不要只往上看，还要往回看,往旁边看,看转角周边。你的职业和生活会有始终,会有曲折，不要对将来的道路太过忧虑,由于生活中布满了惊喜和机遇，你需要对多种也许性持开放态度。今天我要讲的最重要的一点就是,对诚实保持开放的态度。互相之间说诚

46、实话，对自己诚实,也对我们所生活的世界诚实。看看身边的孩子，你就懂得她们有多诚实,我朋友贝琪怀孕后,她五岁的儿子山姆想懂得宝宝在她身体里的什么地方。她问,妈妈，宝宝的胳膊在你的胳膊里吗?她说,不是,整个宝宝在我的肚子里。她又问，妈妈,宝宝的腿在你的腿里吗?她回答,不山姆，整个宝宝在我的肚子里。然后,山姆问道,那你的屁股里有什么？作为成年人,我们几乎始终很诚实,这是很难得的好事。我怀孕的时候,我问我丈夫我的屁股有无变大，起初她说没有,但我不断施压,最后，她说,好吧,有一点。我的小姑子始终说我丈夫，也是你们后来在生活中常常会听到有人说到的:“这家伙居然是哈佛出来的。”在人生旅途中，如果听到某些真话

47、会对我很有协助,我在你们这个年龄的时候，还没有领略到这一点。在我毕业的时候，我对爱情生活的关怀不小于事业，我觉得自己没有什么时间了，必须赶紧找个好男人结婚，以免所有好男人都别人被抢走,或者我太老了。于是,我搬到哥伦毕业特区，在我24岁的时候结婚了。那个男人很不错，但我俩似乎总是相处不好,我变得不懂得自己是谁，也不懂得将来在哪里。一年不到，我的婚姻以失败告终，当时我非常难堪,非常痛苦。诸多朋友来安慰我，但毫无协助，她们说，我就懂得你们俩结婚行不通，我就懂得你们俩不合适。没有人在我婚姻之前跟我说这些,事前告诉我这些肯定会更有用。我熬过了离婚后的这些痛苦时光,我多但愿她们本来有给过我建议,我多但愿我

48、曾经问过她们。而在我的职业生涯中,的确有人毫无保存地说出了实话。本科后,我的第一任老板是兰特普利切特,肯尼迪学院授课的一位经济学家,她今天也在现场。我第二次考虑法学院时,兰特跟我说，我不觉得你应当去法学院，我也不觉得你想去法学院。你觉得自己应当去，大概只是你父母始终以来的规定。她注意到,我在谈话中从未体现出对法律的任何爱好。我懂得 互相之间坦诚相见有多么难，哪怕最密切的朋友，哪怕是在她们也许犯严重错误的时候，但是我敢打赌，在座的各位懂得自己密切朋友的强项和弱项,懂得她们也许掉落在哪个悬崖。我也敢打赌,大部分时候，你们并没有告诉她们,她们也从没问过。去问这些问题,真相会越问越明。朋友都市回答时,

49、你就懂得她们是你真正的朋友了。养成谋求反馈的习惯非常重要，特别是在离开学校系统,没了考试和分数之后。诸多工作中，如果你想懂得自己干得怎么样,你就需要去询问,并且不要由于听到不喜欢听的而觉得受到冒犯。毫无疑问，听人批评绝对不会让人快乐，但我们只能在批评中进步。几年前，马克扎克伯格决定要学中文。为了练习,她开始尝试在某些工作会议中，同中文母语同事交流。你们估计可以想到，她那有限的中文水平，会让谈话很难正常进行。一天，她问一位女性,在脸谱工作怎么样。她用了一种很长很复杂的句子回答。她说，请简朴些。她又说了一次。再简朴些。通过几次后，她只得说了一句很简朴的话“我的经理很糟糕。”她听懂了。一般,真相都成

50、了避免冲突的牺牲品。我们在讲真相时，总喜欢使用诸多修饰，诸多委婉语，沉没了真正要传达的信息。我但愿你们在向她人询问真相的时候,能用简朴明了的语言互相交流。讲到自己的真相时，也应使用简朴明了的语言。同她人坦诚相见很困难，坦诚看待自己的想法甚至更难。我有了小孩后，常常会和自己说，我对工作并不感到内疚，哪怕没有人问我的时候。有人跟我说,雪莉,今天过得如何。我会说,很棒，我对工作并不感到内疚。有人说,我需要一件羊毛衫吗?我说，没错，外面很冷，我对工作并不感到内疚。我就像一只学舌的鹦鹉。有天，我在跑步机上,正在读社会学杂志上的论文。上面写道,相比对她人撒谎,人们更喜欢对自己撒谎,而反复最多的那些话，一般

51、就是谎言。我脸上汗如雨下，心想，我反复最多的一句话是什么，我意识到了，我对工作感到内疚，我做了大量的研究，我同好友内尔斯克维尔花了一全年的时间，写了一本书，讲我的想法和感受。世界上诸多女性都同它产生了共鸣,这让我很欣慰。我的书名叫做格雷的五十道阴影,可见,你们诸多人也都读过这本书。对于我们所生活的世界保持诚实,我们尚有诸多要做。我们并不总能看到真相，就算看到了，我们常常也没有大声说出的勇气。我和同窗们在读大学时,觉得性格平等的斗争已经结束。没错,大部分行业的领袖都是男性，但变化应当只是时间的问题。那边的拉蒙特图书馆，就在我们之前一代人的时间里，不容许女性进入，但在我们毕业那时，一切都平等了。哈

52、佛和拉德克里夫完全统一了。我们不需要女权主义，由于我们已经得到了平等。我们错了，我错了，世界在那时并不平等，目前也不平等。我觉得现如今，我们并不只是假装没看到真相，并对不平等视而不见，我们还在遭受低预期的践踏。今年,就在几种月前，硅谷一位很受人尊重的出名商业经理人,邀请我到她的社交媒体俱乐部刊登演讲。几种月之前,我去过这家具乐部。一位朋友过生日邀我去的。建筑很美丽,我在里面游荡。欣赏她,找卫生间。成果一位员工很肯定的告诉我,女卫生间在那里,我务必不要上楼去，由于女性不容许进入这座建筑,我直到这时才意识到自己来到了一家全男性俱乐部。剩余的整个晚上，我始终都在纳闷,自己来这里做什么，纳闷其她人都在做什么，纳闷旧金山会不会有朋友邀请我去一种不容许黑人，犹太人，亚洲人,或同性恋者的俱乐部派对。被邀请到这家具乐部做商业演讲,就更让人不爽了,由于这主线就不是单纯的社交活动场合。我一方面想到的是真的吗？真的。向前一步出版后一年，这个家伙居然觉得邀请我到一家全男性俱乐部做演讲是一种好主意。她不是一种人,诸多备受尊敬的商务人士,