DAVID DEANGELO - MEETING WOMEN IN BARS & CLUBS SEMINAR SLIDES

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1、David DeangeloMeeting Women in Bars&Clubs WorkbookGetting To“Success You need to decide what“Success in this area looks like for YOU Instead of striving to be able to pick up any woman in any situation,figure out what youd like to accomplish personally with women,and in your life in general,and go f

2、or it Investing too much time in this area only leads to obsessive technique-addiction,identifying,etc.Most of us have more than enough opportunities,or can create more than enough easily.the real objective is to optimize those that are already in front of us The idea is to take advantage of all the

3、 great situations that are already happening in your life FIRST So take a minute right now,and write down what youd like to get from this program and what skill youd like to haveIntroduction Our topic in this program is meeting women in bars and clubs and other public places Were going to talk a lot

4、 about technique and“how tos Youre going to meet some of my friends who are going to fill your mind with tips,tricks,and ideas for everything from approaching women to not having to wait in lines and even getting into exclusive clubs for free And before we get into the techniques and the specifics,I

5、d like to share some important concepts to frame this conversationNaturals Laugh At This Work Id like to share something thats counterintuitive with you Many friends of mine who are“naturals laugh at all the complex techniques and crafty tricks were going to talk about here and about the idea of lea

6、ning“techniques to meet women in general These“naturals have a fundamental understanding of how to communicate with and attract a woman that becomes more apparent after you understand the techniques To a“natural,the only thing thats required is knowing how the mating game works,being able to read a

7、womans body language and signals,and then being a man Keep this in mind as you learn and make your objective to ultimately develop that part of yourself that already knows how to meet and attract a woman youve just met not to learn a million techniques to make up for the fact that you cant do it“nat

8、urally You can get to the point where you are“unconsciously competent,and you respond to each opportunity with women without having to think about it or consider itCommit To Practicing And Improving If youre going to pursue this way of meeting women,you need to prepare yourself for some work Go out

9、at least once a week for 90 days,and study for at least an hour a day in the days between If you work on this for 90 days,youll improve Like anything else in life that you want to pursue,if you give up after a few setbacks youll only waste your time and your money Make a commitment to yourself to wo

10、rk on this everyday,and to go out at least once a week for 90 days to practice what youre about to learnThere Is No One Best Way In this program youre going to hear from people who have very different styles and philosophies Your objective isnt to be just like one of the people you hear from,its to

11、learn new perspectives,philosophies,and approaches so you can integrate them into your own style and be MORE of who you are not less Whatever works for you is the best way and trying to be someone else or make them into your god because they know how to do something that you dont know how to do isnt

12、 going to help youRealities Of The Bar And Club Scene Attractive women dominate this environment they expect and get special treatment There are almost always more men than women in bars and clubs Most men are looking to get laid,most women are looking to get attention There will always be men prese

13、nt who are very competitive and very aggressive Women are often annoyed before you get your first words out Music,friends and competition from other men can be very distracting Women that frequent bars and clubs arent typically the most mature and emotionally healthy Moral:Dont take this too serious

14、lyNegative Aspects Of Meeting Women In Bars And Clubs Most single men are looking for a fantastic woman to have a great relationship with and women that go out a lot to bars and clubs usually arent exactly what you might call“girlfriend or“wife material The noise,drunkenness,bad girl/guy ratios,comp

15、etition from desperate(or drunk and desperate)men,and insecure/attention/status oriented culture in many bars and clubs can take awhile to become accustomed to Ironically,if you can really“get just how not-girlfriendquality the women in bars and clubs usually are,and at the same time raise your stan

16、dards,THAT ALONE will make you more attractive to the women youll meet therePositive Aspects Of Meeting Women In Bars And Clubs There is no better place to“try things out with no real consequences If you can make things work in this environment,you can make them work anywhere You can get more“practi

17、ce in within the span of a few hours than a week in the“real world When you learn how to meet women successfully in bars and clubs,the“real world becomes almost unbelievably easyGetting Numbers Vs.Picking Up Chicks Consider the differences between these two ultimate objectives:The ability to“pick up

18、 chicks and“take them home The ability to get emails and numbers quickly and follow up later Difference in philosophies,difference in results,difference in outcomesPre-Arranging Your Success Much or most of your success in Bars And Clubs can be determined by what you do BEFORE and AFTER you go out.N

19、ot just what you do while youre out Kobayashi Maru Scenario Getting to know key people Think:Rolling into a club with 5 attractive,socially connected women as opposed to 5 dorky guys Where you go before Where youre going afterSocial Networking Secrets The social networking aspect could be the most i

20、mportant of all Who you know,including doormen,owners,bartenders Who you go with,who goes with you This concept of being in“the mix,planting seeds,having several different things working for you over the LONG TERM,which is FAR more powerful than just short term thinking“Mini Or“Short Social Networki

21、ng Go to the bar with the intention of making CONNECTIONS FIRST,not meeting women first Start talking to everyone,to see if you can get a feel for where the“network hubs are Make some male friends who are obviously connected to the scene,buy them a drink,and become established as being“part of the i

22、nner circle(being a“new person and also being part of the“inner circle gives you great advantage.youre the new,mysterious challenge)Know three other bars or clubs that youre thinking of hitting up after this one,so you can talk about it and invite others or go along with others Listen carefully for

23、clues to the social scene,nightlife,after-parties,etc.so you can use this valuable information as you meet peopleGreat Friends To Make And Have Women:Shes married or in a serious relationship,but she loves helping guys meet women(you usually have to be“very cool to trigger the“I want to help him mee

24、t women reaction)Shes single and a“player,but you dont get together with her.you make it clear that youre just interested in being FRIENDS(this is magic for a woman who never has any guys who are genuinely interested in her)Men:Great with women and is fun to be around in a bar/club setting Guy frien

25、d who has a fun girlfriend who likes to help guys meet girls Well-connected in the social bar/club/party sceneConsider How Going Out With These Different Groups Would Affect Your Success One guy friend whos not good with women One guy friend who is good with women Two or more guy friends who arent g

26、ood with women Two or more guy friends who are all good with women One woman friend Two women who are good friends More than two women and just you A large mixed group Whats ideal?How do you want the men and/or women to think of you,treat you,etc.and you them?Consider this and plan wellStarting With

27、 Happy Hour At Your Place When I first moved to Los Angeles,I had a bright idea Have“happy hour at my place on Friday nights between 7 and 9 PM Invite friends and any women Id met that week over for a casual drink Have plenty of things lined up for the rest of the evening,which keeps all kinds of gr

28、eat options openBuild An Email List And Have Regular Social Get-Togethers Get the email address of every attractive,interesting,and/or fun woman you meet Every month or two,invite them all to your place to have a few drinks,have a bar-b-que,or have a party Invite cool“socially connected people to yo

29、ur place If your place isnt well-located or convenient,have your get-togethers at someone elses place(someone who shares your interest in being well-connected)Networking For Social Success In order to get into the“in social mix,you need INFORMATION Information is truly the bar/club scenes social cap

30、ital If you know where and when the best parties are,and you know the people who are having them(or people who can at the very minimum get you and others in)then youre in Networking is the answer it is THE high leverage activity Start by keeping your ears open for local parties or after-parties Ask

31、club promoters,bar tenders,DJs,etc.whats going on AFTER Next,start SHARING this valuable,good information with those socially powerful promoters,bar tenders,and DJs which begins to position you as a key source of valuable information After doing this consistently for just a couple of months,and payi

32、ng attention to the friends youre making,youll find yourself able to create magicCompounding Results Increasing several areas a little each,and compounding the results.so your lifestyle brings you as many opportunities with women as you can handle Creating and improving your own fashion style and ap

33、pearance Building a list of socially connected people who are always in the mix Going to high-probability places Knowing influential social“network hubs at the places you frequent Starting conversations more effectively Improving body language to increase attraction Dialing up attraction with your c

34、ommunication Having ten or so standard come-backs for common situations Leading physically and having“the next place lined up Knowing when and how to get an email and/or number If you increase just these nine areas by 20%each,what do you get?06 19 00(Moral:This is all about you,and not about her you

35、 have so much control and effect)Personas And Bars The persona barrier How an attractive womans“bar persona develops How personas are often mirror-image projections of whats REALLY going on inside Staying in there for several minutes,and why Returning to see if shes open YET,and whyHow To Weird A Gi

36、rl Out,Give Her The Creeps,Give Her The“Instant Ewws Turn up near her over and over and over again Stare at her too much without talking Touch her when she hasnt initiated the touching Act nervous Act like youre not comfortable in the social situation Act like youd give anything to talk to her The i

37、mportance of being“cool,not needy at all,interesting,challenging,mysteriousFive Quick Ways To Get An Email Or A Number Do you have a card?No?Give me your number.Do you have email?Lets trade information,and Ill catch up with you later.Do you have a phone?Give it to me for a minute.Here hand her your

38、phone.Her:“What?.Physical Leading And The Right-Now Date Greg and the original lessons he taught me Lead her to the dance floor Lead her to a different part of the bar/club Lead her to a different club(now youre on a date)Lead her to a bite to eat Physically leading,going to a new physical environme

39、nt is incredibly powerful“The 2 Biggest Reasons Why Men Fail In Bars And Nightclubs And What To Do About It What do most guys do when trying to meet women in bars and nightclubs?The Big Mistake In Thinking The sad truth is that most guys dont approach women at all Heres what they do instead Stare at

40、 her from afar imagining something happening between them,but never actually doing anything Linger around the area shes hanging out in hoping that hell bump into her,and shell be forced to talk to him Think up reasons not to approach The biggest mistake here in thinking is“something is going to happ

41、en without you actually doing anythingA Night Out In The Life Of An Attractive Woman She spends an hour or so in front of the mirror just in case She shows up at the club,and guys whistle and yell at her as she walks past the line The bouncer lets her in without waiting Through out the night,5 guys

42、offer to buy her a drink 10 guys stare at her from afar,one follows her around the club 2 guys ask her what time it is 3 guys tell her shes the best looking girl in the club 2 guys take a picture with her 4 guys come up to her and her friends and say“How you ladies doing tonight?7 guys try to dance

43、with her,most by creeping up behind her and trying to rub their crotches against her assThe Big Mistake The big mistake here is that most guys think what they are doing is original,when in reality shes seen it dozens of times before and probably dozens of times THAT SAME NIGHT A few more of the“rout

44、ine things guys do that bore women:Approach her with a typical compliment Approach with a non-original greeting(“Hey ladies!How you ladies doing tonight?,etc.)Approach her with a made-up reason(“What time is it?Do you have a cigarette?Do you know what time this place closes?Do you know how to get to

45、 so and so?etc.)Offer to buy her a drink Introduce himself or ask her name Ask her the same old questions,e.g.“what do you do?,“where do you live?etc.,Try to impress her with money,job,experiences,or status Get overly excited and act like she is the only woman in the club Cling to her until she goes

46、 away How This Affects Her Over time,women come to see routine things as“warning signs Sure,if youre a good looking guy and have a good vibe shell give you a little bit longer to make an impression,but not much.“Naturals vs.Regular Guys My goal was always to become as good as the guys I knew who“nat

47、urally attracted women.It seemed that they did little or no work,yet they always had more women than they could handle I made it my goal to track down and observe as many of these guys as possible,and figure out exactly what they do differently from us“regular guys When I was first starting out,I tr

48、ied to find out about all of the lines and techniques they used to get so many women in bars and clubs I discovered that by using lines and techniquesalong with getting my style together and taking care of the“basicsI could achieve marginal success.My MASSIVE and CONSISTENT success came only after I

49、 internalized the beliefs and attitudes that were behind the techniques The techniques will work occasionally by themselves,but with the framework in place they work like nuclear weapons.“Naturals vs.Regular Guys When you have the framework down you wont need to memorize lines or techniques because

50、youll be able to come up with them at will Im first going to talk about the attitudes of the naturals,the differences in the way they think,and the real reasons why they have such an easy time meeting women in bars and nightclubs.Im then going to share some techniques you can use to jumpstart your s

51、uccess.Keep in mind that what Im going to share with you now is 100 times more important than what Im going to share with you later in the program.When you master these concepts youll be able to consistently meet women in bars,nightclubs and everywhere else with very little effort SO LETS GET STARTE

52、D!The Concept Of“Naturally Cool A major realization I had while watching my friends who were naturally good with women was that they had a“cool vibe that women would instantly pick up on I noticed that when they met women,they would always have the attitude that the women were lucky to be talking to

53、 them.It was as if they subtly said“Do you KNOW who I am?without actually saying it,and without coming off as arrogant After watching enough of these guys,I came to realize that learning to be naturally cool might be the most important thing you can do to attract women I know many cool guys who dont

54、 have it all together,yet they always have women.I also know a lot of“not-cool guys who are very successful in all areas of their lives with the EXCEPTION of women and datingThe Universal Traits Of“Naturally Cool Guys:He really doesnt care what people think about him.A cool guy never places excessiv

55、e meaning on any one interaction.He knows he cant please everyone,and he is totally ok with it His respect and friendship must be earned.To gain his respect,you have to either be a friend of a friend,or show him that you are also cool.This holds true for both the men and women they meet.They give no

56、“bonus points for status,looks,or material possessions He is open and honest,and never afraid to state his opinion.A cool,confident guy doesnt beat around the bush.Hell always say whats on his mind because he knows that people value what he has to say,and hes not afraid to piss someone off He is dec

57、isive.If you ask him if he wants to go somewhere,he wont say“I dont know or“what do you want to do?Hell tell you yes or no,whether he thinks its what you want to hear The Universal Traits Of A Naturally Cool Guy:He is confident in his decisions.If you tell him his shirt is ugly,hell tell you that yo

58、u have horrible taste in clothing What he is doing is always the best thing going.If a woman is talking to him about the great time she had on Saturday night,oull never hear him say,“I wish I would have been there.He knows that whatever he was doing was either more fun or more important He is always

59、 the best thing going.If a woman talks about another guy,he will always have the subtle undertone that she would have a much better time with him Women never come first in his life.He always has a purpose or priority that is more important to him than she is,and no woman will ever control him Natura

60、ls Set A Distinctive Presence Bars and nightclubs can be intimidating.Its easy to blend in I noticed that the“naturals always set a powerful presence inside the club that women couldnt help but notice I learned that in order to have massive success you must be completely comfortable with your surrou

61、ndings.You have to“own the placeMy House!The FIRST thing I do when I walk into a bar or club is to stop,put my arms out and say,“MY HOUSE!Have the attitude that everyone there happens to be a guest in your house,and you belong there more than they do Think about how you would act if you were REALLY

62、at your own house.What would you do?How To Take Over The House Walk up to groups of people and say,Hey.is everyone here having a good time tonight?CHEERS!Say hi or give a cheers or high-five to EVERY ONE you walk by Greet the bar staff warmly like they are old friends Walk through the club with a pu

63、rpose and give a polite but firm“excuse me to anyone who gets in your way Grab your own section of the club or bar and make it yours Speak with a loud commanding voice that can be heard above everyone else Create A Presence With Your Body Language Stand tall,puff your chest out Pretend like you are“

64、on camera at all times.Avoid jittery movements and things like cracking your knuckles or biting your nails Keep your hands at your sides with your fingers together,or in your pockets with thumbs pointing towards your crotch(just like the bad guys in the movies).You can also put your hands in your ba

65、ck pockets or cross your arms Keep your legs spread slightly more than shoulder-with apart If youre next to the bar,put your hands or arms across it.Hold strong eye contact and never be the first to break it Take up a lot of space.After all,it is YOUR HOUSE!Do as many of these things as you can the

66、results will increase exponentially The Paradox Of Success When I first started going to bars I would go to“pick up chicks Id try to talk to every girl in the place,and if I didnt go home with at least a phone number I felt like I hadnt accomplished anything.Needless to say,I went home frustrated on a regular basis I noticed that my“natural friends didnt really care about meeting women when they went out.In fact,they thought it was kind of weird that I would always try so hard to meet girls One