施老师高中英语写作教学1

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1、高中英语写作教学高中英语写作教学训练应循序渐进训练应循序渐进 v训练书面表达不是盲目地练，应从基础练起。训练书面表达不是盲目地练，应从基础练起。首先写好首先写好简单句简单句，掌握好，掌握好五种基本句型五种基本句型；然；然后学写后学写并列句和复合句并列句和复合句，注重句型转换和重，注重句型转换和重点句型操练；最后再进行点句型操练；最后再进行篇章训练篇章训练。在进行。在进行篇章训练时，要注意遣词造句，布局谋篇，篇章训练时，要注意遣词造句，布局谋篇，要学会用适当的要学会用适当的连接词连接词使全文逻辑意义正确。使全文逻辑意义正确。不同阶段的侧重点不同阶段的侧重点v高一：兴趣、习惯高一：兴趣、习惯v高二

2、：规范、仿写高二：规范、仿写（体裁、结构）（体裁、结构）v高三：提炼、升华高三：提炼、升华（遣词造句，逻辑（遣词造句，逻辑修辞等）修辞等）不断积累是关键不断积累是关键 v要写好英语作文，积累是很关键的。积累应要写好英语作文，积累是很关键的。积累应包括生活知识的积累和语言表达的积累。包括生活知识的积累和语言表达的积累。“厚积厚积”才能才能“薄发薄发”，只有平时做个有心，只有平时做个有心人，才有可能在考试时写出佳作。人，才有可能在考试时写出佳作。写作需要积累写作需要积累v阅读基础阅读基础v背诵积累背诵积累v摘录优美句子摘录优美句子v写正确的句子写正确的句子v复述和写课文概要（复述和写课文概要（co

3、ntrolled)v用适当的词和词组还原课文概要（语感）用适当的词和词组还原课文概要（语感）v听写句子、课文概要、小故事等（语感）听写句子、课文概要、小故事等（语感）v排序题排序题（逻辑思维）（逻辑思维）几种写作训练形式几种写作训练形式v基于生活的写作基于生活的写作v基于基于阅读阅读的写作的写作v基于话题的写作基于话题的写作v基于项目的写作基于项目的写作v基于体裁的写作基于体裁的写作v基于基于应试应试的写作的写作基于阅读的写作基于阅读的写作v没有一定的目的语的输入，输出很难产生。没有一定的目的语的输入，输出很难产生。（Krashen）v“Nothing can be written befor

4、e its read”.（Alexander）v阅读帮助学生阅读帮助学生:1）获取语篇知识，丰富形式图式；）获取语篇知识，丰富形式图式；2）获取语言知识，丰富知识图式；）获取语言知识，丰富知识图式；3）获得话题内容，丰富内容图式；）获得话题内容，丰富内容图式；4)获得写作技巧，丰富策略图式；获得写作技巧，丰富策略图式；选材（典型）选材（典型）阅读和分析阅读和分析归纳特点归纳特点练习（仿写）练习（仿写）讲评讲评结构结构语言语言输入输入输出输出策略指导策略指导重要重要基于体裁的写作基于体裁的写作NarrativeDescriptiveOrganization（format)vState it-wh

5、o?what?How?vExplain or illustrate it-examplesvRestate it-commentSample 1v Everyone has a hero in his mind,and mine is Deng Yaping,a talented woman player of table tennis.v Why was she able to make such brilliant achievements in spite of being short?It was because of her hard work and determination.A

6、s a little girl of four,she began to play table tennis under the strict guidance of her coach.She kept struggling until she became a member of the National Training Team.Although she won many championships and medals,she remained modest and continued working hard.v On her way to success,she proved t

7、hat it was not height but hard work that mattered.She will always be a good guide to my action.Sample 2 Today our class organized an activity to visit Hongxing Farm(点题点题).In the early morning,We started excitedly from the gate of school on foot.One hour later,we arrived.The farm workers gave us a wa

8、rm welcome.Then the head showed us around.We knew much about crops.At noon we had a picnic lunch on the grass.How tasty the food and drinks were!After lunch,we began to amuse ourselves in group.Some danced and sang.Some chatted together.Two of us even played a game of chess.After the sun set,we had

9、to leave and said good-bye to the workers.What an enjoyable day it was!News reportOrganization vIntroduction Paragraph1 Summary of the event(time,place,people involved)vMain body Paragraph23 Development of the event in detail,causes,consequencesvConclusion Final paragraph Peoples comments/action tak

10、en Student volunteers Brought Sunshine to The ElderlyvOn May Day,LiYue and Zhang Hua,students from Class Three,Grade Two,went to Sunshine Nursing Home and did some voluntary work.vUpon their arrival,Li Yue and Zhang Hua were warmly welcomed,and respectfully,they presented the elderly with flowers an

11、d fruits.Then they started working at once,cleaning the windows andsweeping the floor.Everything done,they sat in the yard chatting with the elderly people.whenwhowherewhatdetailed informationv When it was time for the volunteers to leave,the elderly people thanked them for their kindness.They said

12、it was such a beautiful day that they would remember it forever.v LiYue and Zhang Hua were very happy.What they did has brought joy to others and enriched their own lives.By Chen Jie,School Newspaperdetailed informationcommentsAn Upside down Pyramidintroductionmain bodycomment新闻语体新闻语体vsimple words,b

13、ut vivid expressionsvpictures the event in readers mindsvcause people to thinkvobjectivevbrief but appealingv应用文应用文v信函信函v通知通知v演讲稿演讲稿v便条便条invitationthanksrecommendationasking-for-help complaint refusalcongratulationsapplicationA letter of letter format 1(Receivers address)(your address)Date greetingD

14、ear xx,signatureYours sincerelyxxxTo Whom It May Concern:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.Body letter format 2(Receivers address)(your address)Date gree

15、tingDear xx,signatureYours sincerelyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.Bodyreason演讲稿OrganizationvGreetingsvIntroduction of your topicvMain body

16、 of the speechvClosing of your speech范例 学校将组织竞选新一届学生会主席，你准备参加竞选。现在请你根据以下要求写一篇竞选发言稿：1.胜任条件：能力、爱好、性格2.如果当选，将为本校同学做 词数：120-130左右A Campaign SpeechvGood morning,everyone!Today I am very glad to run for the president of the Students Union.I am junior in English Department and I firmly believe I am compete

17、nt for such a position.vSeveral factors contribute to my confidence.For one thing,since I came into the school,I have always been the monitor in my class.I have done a very good job for my classmates,and both the classmates and teachers give me a good praise.For another,I am good at communicating an

18、d organizing.Moreover,I have a variety of hobbies,for example,basketball,football,etc.Therefore,I am sure that I am qualified for this position.v Besides,if I become the president,I will try my best to do well.I will organize some suitable activities for all the students in our school.I will do many

19、 things for you to meet your demands as well.I am sincerely hope that you will give me a chance,and please believe me that I will be a good president.vThank you very much for listening!看图作文看图作文 一，感性认识过程，即通过画面直接获得一，感性认识过程，即通过画面直接获得信息的过程（究竟画面展示了一个什么情信息的过程（究竟画面展示了一个什么情景）；景）；二，理性认识过程，即针对画面发挥想象二，理性认识过程，即

20、针对画面发挥想象力，挖掘画面间的内在联系融入自己的思想力，挖掘画面间的内在联系融入自己的思想与见解（画面的内涵是什么）。与见解（画面的内涵是什么）。一、只做描述的看图作文（记事）一、只做描述的看图作文（记事）vDescription of the picture.二、要求描述并简评的看图作文（漫画）二、要求描述并简评的看图作文（漫画）vDescription of the picture.vThe writers opinion or comment on the event.OrganizationvIllustration of the chart/table/graph/pievExpl

21、anation of the resultvConclusion your opinion 2000年年假设你是李华，在美国探亲。假设你是李华，在美国探亲。20002000年年2 2月月8 8日清晨，你目击一日清晨，你目击一起交通事故。警察局让你写一份材料，报告当时所见情况。起交通事故。警察局让你写一份材料，报告当时所见情况。请根据下列图画写出报告。请根据下列图画写出报告。注意：注意：目击者应该准确报告事实；词数目击者应该准确报告事实；词数100100左右；结尾已为你写好。左右；结尾已为你写好。About two minutes later I stopped a passing car an

22、d took the old man to the nearest hospital.Li Hua It was 7:15 on the morning of February 8,2000.I was walking along Park Road towards the east when an elderly man came out of the park on the other side of the street.Then I saw a yellow car drive up Third Street and make a right turn into Park Road.T

23、he next moment the car hit the man while he was crossing the road.He fell with a cry.The car didnt stop but drove off at great speed heading west.I noticed the driver was a young woman and the plate number was AC864.About two minutes later I stopped a passing car and took the old man to the nearest

24、hospital.Li Hua20002000One possible versionOne possible version 党中央号召全国人民树立党中央号召全国人民树立“八荣八耻八荣八耻”荣辱观，仔细观看下荣辱观，仔细观看下面这组漫画，根据要求面这组漫画，根据要求以以 Beauty Comes From Action为题为题写写一一篇篇120词左右词左右的短文。的短文。漂亮女郎的行为漂亮女郎的行为 残疾老人的行为残疾老人的行为 你你的评论的评论 五个环节五个环节 一一“抓抓”:抓主题抓主题。首先，根据图片内容确首先，根据图片内容确定好题材与体裁定好题材与体裁是写人还是写景，是说理还是写人还

25、是写景，是说理还是叙事，是书信还是日记或其他应用文体。这是叙事，是书信还是日记或其他应用文体。这一环节可采用：一环节可采用：1.求同法，即寻找画面中相同的人物、地点求同法，即寻找画面中相同的人物、地点或时间等，来确定主线，不致于跑题；或时间等，来确定主线，不致于跑题；2.求异法，即观察几幅图的不同之处，挖掘求异法，即观察几幅图的不同之处，挖掘出它们之间的内在联系从而确定体裁。出它们之间的内在联系从而确定体裁。二二“列列”:列要点列要点。由于书面表达是以由于书面表达是以一定的情景为基础，考查具有一定的针对一定的情景为基础，考查具有一定的针对性，因此要点要全面，无遗漏。性，因此要点要全面，无遗漏。

26、要点主要是结合图片中的情景用自己熟要点主要是结合图片中的情景用自己熟悉的结构与词汇列出，忌用生疏的结构与悉的结构与词汇列出，忌用生疏的结构与词汇按汉语思维盲目罗列，原则词汇按汉语思维盲目罗列，原则“不求难，不求难，不求异，唯求准不求异，唯求准”。三三“变变”:变要点为句子变要点为句子。将第二个环节将第二个环节中所罗列的要点，先按一定的时间、空间及中所罗列的要点，先按一定的时间、空间及逻辑顺序排列；然后选定恰当的主语与人称，逻辑顺序排列；然后选定恰当的主语与人称，再根据动作发生的时间与主谓关系拓词成句。再根据动作发生的时间与主谓关系拓词成句。结合学生实际，要求用他们熟悉、简单的结结合学生实际，要

27、求用他们熟悉、简单的结构来表达，避免因用长句和大量的复合句而构来表达，避免因用长句和大量的复合句而出现过多的语法错误。切勿用汉语思维生造出现过多的语法错误。切勿用汉语思维生造句子。句子。四四“连连”:连句成篇连句成篇。这一环节是最关键这一环节是最关键的一环。首先，要根据题目所要求及画面展的一环。首先，要根据题目所要求及画面展示确定好题材与体裁。其次，要确定好行文示确定好题材与体裁。其次，要确定好行文的人称与时态的基调。再次，要在句与句以的人称与时态的基调。再次，要在句与句以及段与段之间加一些表转折、递进和因果等及段与段之间加一些表转折、递进和因果等关系的关联词与过渡句，使文章前后照应，关系的关

28、联词与过渡句，使文章前后照应，行文流畅。最后结合题目要求字数适当加入行文流畅。最后结合题目要求字数适当加入一些表达自己思想、见解的内容，使文章丰一些表达自己思想、见解的内容，使文章丰满显得有血有肉。满显得有血有肉。五五“检检”:文章检查文章检查。文章写成之后错误文章写成之后错误在所难免，检查这一环节不能省。检查可从在所难免，检查这一环节不能省。检查可从如下几方面入手：如下几方面入手：1.文章的体裁格式是否正确。文章的体裁格式是否正确。2.要点有无遗漏。要点有无遗漏。3.句子（人称、时态、语态、主谓一致、句子（人称、时态、语态、主谓一致、结构、词语搭配等）。结构、词语搭配等）。4.词汇（意义、拼

29、写、时态语态，形容词词汇（意义、拼写、时态语态，形容词与动词的形式，名词单复数）。与动词的形式，名词单复数）。5.标点符号是否有遗漏与错误。标点符号是否有遗漏与错误。说说 明明 文文Organization Introduction Main body：Fact A Fact B Fact C Conclusion范范 例例 某制药厂研制了一种新中药，药品已被外商订某制药厂研制了一种新中药，药品已被外商订购。请你根据提示为该产品写一份使用说明书：购。请你根据提示为该产品写一份使用说明书：1.本品为中药，对心脏病疗效显著。本品为中药，对心脏病疗效显著。2.常量：每天三次，一次两粒（常量：每天三次

30、，一次两粒（pill），根据情），根据情况可加服一至二粒。况可加服一至二粒。3.服药后，身体不适要停服。服药后，身体不适要停服。70岁以上老人和岁以上老人和10岁以下的小孩禁服。岁以下的小孩禁服。4本药品应存放在阴凉干燥处。本药品应存放在阴凉干燥处。5.使用本药品要严格遵从医嘱。使用本药品要严格遵从医嘱。注意：注意：1.词数：词数：100左右左右 2.包括要点，但不要逐句翻译。包括要点，但不要逐句翻译。One possible version This is a kind of Chinese medicine and has a good effect on heart disease.Ta

31、ke two pills each and three times a day.You can take one or two extra pills each time according to your own condition.It depends.Cautious:If you feel uncomfortable,stop using it at once.Kids below 10 and adults above 70 are forbidden to use it.Youd better use the medicine under the guidance of a doc

32、tor.Always put it in a cool and dry place.基于应试的写作基于应试的写作 v限词量限词量v限框架限框架v限时间限时间 质量要求质量要求 要点全面、表达准确、语句连贯。要点全面、表达准确、语句连贯。基本语法和常用句型无严重错误，意思表达基本语法和常用句型无严重错误，意思表达清楚。清楚。鼓励使用复杂结构，新颖词汇和顺畅连接。鼓励使用复杂结构，新颖词汇和顺畅连接。所谓复杂结构包括定语从句、强调句型、倒所谓复杂结构包括定语从句、强调句型、倒装、被动、虚拟、非谓语短语、装、被动、虚拟、非谓语短语、so.that和和with加复合宾语等。加复合宾语等。能用书写体熟练

33、清楚地书写，格式、连笔、能用书写体熟练清楚地书写，格式、连笔、词距、标点正确。词距、标点正确。书写格式、行文及礼貌用语等无严重错误。书写格式、行文及礼貌用语等无严重错误。几个方面的问题几个方面的问题 词汇基础薄弱。词汇基础薄弱。主要表现在写作中单词拼写主要表现在写作中单词拼写错误多，数的概念模糊，同义、近义词辨析错误多，数的概念模糊，同义、近义词辨析不清，时态、语态误用，词语搭配不当或画不清，时态、语态误用，词语搭配不当或画蛇添足等。蛇添足等。句子结构模糊句子结构模糊。一些考生刻意追求写长句或。一些考生刻意追求写长句或优美句，反而使得文章的句子结构混乱，读优美句，反而使得文章的句子结构混乱，读

34、了让人感觉不知所云。了让人感觉不知所云。母语痕迹明显母语痕迹明显。在书面表达阅卷过程中发现。在书面表达阅卷过程中发现很多中国式英语。考生用汉语的思维去构思很多中国式英语。考生用汉语的思维去构思和组织文句，可是其英语水平远没有达到这和组织文句，可是其英语水平远没有达到这个水平，结果自然是词不达意，错误百出。个水平，结果自然是词不达意，错误百出。篇章逻辑混乱篇章逻辑混乱。综观全篇，无论是段与段的。综观全篇，无论是段与段的转换，还是句与句的连贯，都让人觉得突然，转换，还是句与句的连贯，都让人觉得突然，没有做好各个环节的顺利过渡和主题内容的没有做好各个环节的顺利过渡和主题内容的更迭，使文章缺乏整体性、

35、层次感和可读性。更迭，使文章缺乏整体性、层次感和可读性。训练要点训练要点v第一轮复习跟课练（词组、句型）第一轮复习跟课练（词组、句型）v第二轮复习练体裁、以话题为主线第二轮复习练体裁、以话题为主线v考前练热点考前练热点v重视谋篇布局（各类体裁的架构）重视谋篇布局（各类体裁的架构）v重视遣词造句重视遣词造句v重视拼写、标点、书写、大小写、语法重视拼写、标点、书写、大小写、语法v重视对学生范文的积累和讲评重视对学生范文的积累和讲评写作教学中的注意事项写作教学中的注意事项v写作教学中：写作教学中：教师的作用在于帮助学生形成一套可行的写作策教师的作用在于帮助学生形成一套可行的写作策略；略；1）动笔前的

36、酝酿（选题、收集资料、构思、明）动笔前的酝酿（选题、收集资料、构思、明 确中心思想、拟提纲、定步骤），确中心思想、拟提纲、定步骤），2）起草）起草 3)修改（增补、删减、更改、调整思路），修改（增补、删减、更改、调整思路），4）以及校订（注意修辞、句子结构和语法等）以及校订（注意修辞、句子结构和语法等）Think PolishRevise Draft学生习作学生习作讨论和点评讨论和点评修改润色修改润色再次点评再次点评上次作文上次作文当堂写当堂写 定稿上交定稿上交抽抽样样同一样本同一样本修改应考虑下列内容修改应考虑下列内容 主题是否突出，有没有中心句。主题是否突出，有没有中心句。段落安排是否合理

37、。段落安排是否合理。语言是否流畅，地道。语言是否流畅，地道。有否重复使用的词语和表达方式。有否重复使用的词语和表达方式。有否拼写错误。有否拼写错误。文章格式是否正确。文章格式是否正确。文章的开头和结尾是否合理、正确。文章的开头和结尾是否合理、正确。文章是否有条理性和逻辑性。文章是否有条理性和逻辑性。对作文的评改途径对作文的评改途径v学习评分标准（高考）学习评分标准（高考）v学生自评互评学生自评互评 v课堂点评，课后修改课堂点评，课后修改 重视范文的示范作用重视范文的示范作用 v范文的作用是不可忽视的。优秀的范文有很范文的作用是不可忽视的。优秀的范文有很大的借鉴作用。所以建议考生阅读，甚至可大的

38、借鉴作用。所以建议考生阅读，甚至可以背诵各种文体的优秀范文，也可进行模仿以背诵各种文体的优秀范文，也可进行模仿写作，并力求有自己的创意。写作，并力求有自己的创意。作文范例作文范例How to describe a person.NarrativeDescriptiveOrganization（format)vState it-who?what?How?vExplain it-examplesvRestate it-commentA good friend of mine by Sherry Do you have a friend who always cheers you up when y

39、ou are down,always ready to give you a hand when you get into trouble,and always be at your side?Im lucky enough to say“yes”.I have a precious friend and weve known each other for ages.She is a lovely girl full of love and patience.Whenever I have problems,shes always the first to help me.So I think

40、 she is also quite selfless.Whats more,being generous and tolerant is her good quality,too.Shed like to share a lot of things with me,and she chooses to forgive me instead of scolding me when I make mistakes.A good start with a question!The first exampleThe second example However,she is not a perfec

41、t person,so we both get a good understanding of each other.Although we have entered different schools now,I believe our friendship will keep green.A nice conclusion.Friends Teenagers love making friends with a lot of people,because they learn new and fresh ideas from these people.Since they are abou

42、t the same age,teenagers find that it is easier to communicate with their friends.Whenever they have a problem,they always seek help from their friends to solve the problem.Faithful friends are great treasures to us.They are reliable and will surely offer their help willingly whenever we meet diffic

43、ulty.However,faithful friends will never try to cover our mistakes for us.We should not blame them for this because this act helps us become more responsible individuals.Not only human beings,but also animals and things can become our friends.Friendship is normally based on understanding.As long as

44、you can understand an animal or a thing,you can become its friend.Once friendship is established,the most difficult thing in maintaining it is to be sincere.To be a sincere friend,one should first be considerate.Besides this,one should share his friends happiness and sadness.A sincere friend will be

45、 very happy when his friend is successful and will feel worried if his friend is in trouble.It is not easy to obtain a faithful friend.If you do,please cherish him/her,because he/she may be the only faithful friend you will meet in the whole life.作文讲评作文讲评How to express your opinion.The first step Ma

46、ke a list of the reasons.va global languageva working languagevmany books/movies in Englishvto use computers/the Internetvto study abroadvto trade with people fromvto learn its culturevThe second step Ask yourself which reasons come first.1.a global language a working language4.many books/movies are

47、 in English5.to use computers/the Internet2.to study abroad6.to trade with people from3.to learn its culturevOrganization vPut forward the question you are going to discuss in the passage.vGive your reasons one by one.vSum up what you have discussed.An example-by Summerv As we all know,more and more

48、 people are learning English nowadays,especially the Chinese people like most of us.But why should we spend much time in learning a foreign language?Is it only a task?The answer is definitely“No”.Learning English has many special reasons.v Fisrt of all,it is a useful tool of communication.English is

49、 now spoken in many different countries all over the world as as offical language.It helps a lot if you can speak English quite well,especially when you travel abroad.v Secondly,if you can speak English as those native speakers,youll be able to make a better living easily.As a student,learning Engli

50、sh well is the first step to enter these excellent schools abroad.And if you want to be a businessman,an interpretor or work in some other careers,it is one of the most important skills for you to reach success.v Thirdly,a language is always the symbol of a nation,conveying its culture.And so is Eng

51、lish.It is even a mixture of many different cultures based on its long development.v So when we learn English,try to treasure it.It will be valuable and useful in our lives.Ways of Improving Reading-by Kevinv As we all know,English mainly contains five skills,namely,listening,speaking,reading,writin

52、g,and translating.I think I am Ok with them except the skill of reading.v I always find that my reading speed is not quick enough.Sometimes,I try to speed up on purpose,but soon find I can only remember less things than before.I didnt come up with a good solution to this problem until a talk with a

53、friend of mine yesterday.v He told me that reading fast is not really difficult.He suggested me moving my eyes properly.In other words,controlling the movements of my eyes.He also told me that I could practise skimming or scanning in order to improve the reading speed,but my brain should keep up wit

54、h that speed simultaneously.But the process should be taken step by step,just like the other parts of English.Its an accumulation,a process of long-run practice.He added in the end.v I followed his advice,and soon,to my surprise,I could really read faster!Now I believe that,to do something well,a go

55、od method is especially important,and then comes the practice and perseverance.期末作文点评期末作文点评 你所在的学校将要举办一次主题为你所在的学校将要举办一次主题为“What Can We Do for Our School?”的英语演讲比赛。请写一篇英的英语演讲比赛。请写一篇英语演讲稿，要求从以下几个方面进行阐述语演讲稿，要求从以下几个方面进行阐述,并举例说并举例说明。明。1.美化校园；美化校园；2.爱护学校设施；爱护学校设施；3.营造良好的学习氛围。营造良好的学习氛围。注意：注意：1.不要在书面表达中出现本人姓

56、名；不要在书面表达中出现本人姓名；2.词数：词数：100左右；左右；3.参考词汇：校园参考词汇：校园 campus；设施设施 facilities;氛围氛围 environment 4.开头和结尾已经写好，但是不计入词数。开头和结尾已经写好，但是不计入词数。Organization vGreetingsvIntroduction of your topicvMain body of the speechvClosing of your speech Main body of the speechv美化校园美化校园v爱护学校设施爱护学校设施v营造良好的学习氛围营造良好的学习氛围Structure

57、 of the main bodyvFirstly,we can make our school campus more beautiful.vSecondly,its our duty to take care of the facilities in our school.vThirdly,(In addition,Whats more,)we should create a good learning environment.vFirst of all,Then.,FinallyvFirst,Second,Last but not least,ConclusionvI believe t

58、hat if everyone contributes a little,our school campus will be more beautiful and comfortable.vIf every tiny thing is done well and often,our school will certainly be our second home.vWhat we do can make our school better than you expect.vThose are what we can do.After all,school is our second home.

59、vSchool is our second home and we should protect it together.Lets get moving!ProblemsvOrganization.vLogical thinking.vCommon mistakes.vRedundant information.v指代不清指代不清vSecond,we should protect our facilities.For example,we can not paint on the wall.If we do that,our school will be white and tidy.vSo

60、we should love studying and help each other with your knowledge.v单复数混乱单复数混乱vSome students like to write something on their desk,it looks ugly.vWe have to pick up papers on the ground and vSchool is our second home and we should protect them together.v断句不清断句不清vJust plant some trees that you like on t

61、he campus,bring some flowers and put them near the school gate may also a good choice.vI think dont throw paper around is the most important.vPlease think that some classmates are still studying,will I bother them?v缺少连词缺少连词vA better study environment plays a very important part in our study,it can m

62、ake us study better and more quickly.v中文思维中文思维vWhats more,in my opinion,good environmentvWe need quiet.vTo make them,our school spent a lot of money,in order to make us study better.One possible versionv First,we can make a contribution to making our campus more beautiful.In fact,it wont take a lot

63、for us to pick up the rubbish lying on the ground and throw it into the dustbin.I believe if we do little and often,our campus will be a good place to study in.v Second,I hope that we can protect the facilities in the school,for example,our desks and chairs.They are public property for everyone.If w

64、e dont take care of them,as time goes by,it will be a great loss.Each para.has a topic sentence.Choose a good example.vThird,I think we should make a good environment for study.School is a place where we learn knowledge.So wed better make full use of our time and try to learn more.vI believe that if everyone contributes a little,our school will be more beautiful and comfortable.createA good ending.