Marriage in China

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1、The New Matchmaking Three decades of combustive economic growth have reshaped the landscape of marriage in China. A generation ago, China was one of the worlds most equal nations, in both gender and wealth. Most people were poor, and tight controls over housing, employment, travel and family life si

2、mplified the search for a suitable match what the Chinese call mendang hudui, meaning roughly “family doors of equal size.” Like many Chinese who came of age in the 1960s and 70s, Ms. Yu married a man from her factory work unit, with their local Communist Party boss as informal matchmaker. As recent

3、ly as 1990, researchers found that a vast majority of residents in two of Chinas largest cities dated just one person before marriage: their prospective spouse. Chinas transition to a market economy has swept away many restrictions in peoples lives. But of all the new freedoms the Chinese enjoy toda

4、y making money, owning a house, choosing a career there is one that has become an unexpected burden: seeking a spouse. This may be a time of sexual and romantic liberation in China, but the solemn task of finding a husband or wife is proving to be a vexing proposition for rich and poor alike. “The o

5、ld family and social networks that people used to rely on for finding a husband or wife have fallen apart,” said James Farrer, an American sociologist whose book, “Opening Up,” looks at sex, dating and marriage in contemporary China. “Theres a huge sense of dislocation in China, and young people don

6、t know where to turn.” The confusion surrounding marriage in China reflects a country in frenzied transition. Sharp inequalities of wealth have created new fault lines in society, while the largest rural-to-urban migration in history has blurred many of the old ones. As many as 300 million rural Chi

7、nese have moved to cities in the last three decades. Uprooted and without nearby relatives to help arrange meetings with potential partners, these migrants are often lost in the swell of the big city. Demographic changes, too, are creating complications. Not only are many more Chinese women postponi

8、ng marriage to pursue careers, but Chinas gender gap 118 boys are born for every 100 girls has become one of the worlds widest, fueled in large part by the governments restrictive one-child policy. By the end of this decade, Chinese researchers estimate, the country will have a surplus of 24 million

9、 unmarried men. Without traditional family or social networks, many men and women have taken their searches online, where thousands of dating and marriage Web sites have sprung up in an industry that analysts predict will soon surpass $300 million annually. These sites cater mainly to Chinas million

10、s of white-collar workers. But intense competition, along with mistrust of potential mates online claims, has spurred a growing number of singles rich and poor to turn to more hands-on matchmaking services. Chinas matchmaking tradition stretches back more than 2,000 years, to the first imperial marr

11、iage broker in the late Zhou dynasty. The goal of matchmakers ever since has usually been to pair families of equal stature for the greater social good. Today, however, matchmaking has warped into a commercial free-for-all in which marriage is often viewed as an opportunity to leap up the social lad

12、der or to proclaim ones arrival at the top. Single men have a hard time making the list if they dont own a house or an apartment, which in cities like Beijing are extremely expensive. And despite the gender imbalance, Chinese women face intense pressure to be married before the age of 28, lest they

13、be rejected and stigmatized as “leftover women.” Dozens of high-end matchmaking services have sprung up in China in the last five years, charging big fees to find and to vet prospective spouses for wealthy clients. Their methods can turn into gaudy spectacle. One firm transported 200 would-be trophy

14、 wives to a resort town in southwestern China for the perusal of one powerful magnate. Another organized a caravan of BMWs for rich businessmen to find young wives in Sichuan Province. Diamond Love, among the largest love-hunting services, sponsored a matchmaking event in 2009 where 21 men each paid

15、 a $15,000 entrance fee. Over the last year, I tracked the progress of two matchmaking efforts at the opposite extremes of wealth. Together, they help illuminate the forces reshaping marriage in China. In one case, Ms. Yus migrant son reluctantly agreed to allow his aging mother to make the search f

16、or his future wife， her all-consuming mission. In the other, Ms. Yangs richest client at Diamond Love deployed dozens of love hunters to find the most exquisite fair-skinned beauty in the land, even as he fretted about being conned by a bai jin nu, or gold digger. Between the two extremes is Ms. Yan

17、g herself, whose very success as a love hunter has made her the breadwinner in her own family. Despite her growing discomfort with the sexism that permeates the love-hunting business, she has sympathy for her superrich clients. “These men are lost souls,” she said. “They worked hard, made a lot of money, and left their old world behind. Now they dont have time to find a wife, and they dont know whom to trust. So they come to us.” 5